Extended Breastfeeding: Deciding If it is Right for You

By Jacqueline Harris

Extended breastfeeding is an interesting subject because it presents a contrast of cultural mores, as well as U.S. traditional behavior versus the behavior of other cultures throughout the world. In the United States, breastfed babies are typically weaned onto regular food by the end of their first year. In most other parts of the world, breastfeeding is common through the toddler years and even with children beyond toddler age.

The natural time of weaning varies from child to child. In cultures where children are allowed to breastfeed as long as they want to, children will often breastfeed until the ages of three and four. In these cultures, extended breastfeeding is the norm and the family that weans earlier often is looked upon like we look upon those mothers who allow their children to breastfeed until the child decides to wean him/herself.

In the U.S., we generally view breastfeeding as a means to an end. Breastfeeding provides nourishment, immunological protection and an opportunity to nurture the child and build a strong bond between mother and child. Breastfeeding is, however, much more than mere nutrition for the child.

Breastfeeding soothes the child as they enjoy the closeness of breastfeeding and the undivided attention they get from the person who is very possibly the most important figure in their young little worlds. Toddlers enjoy nursing and it has very little to do with nourishment. Breastfeeding comforts the child when they are sick or hurt and it allows for contact during the busy process of the toddler exploring their new world.

The main reason American mothers wean so early is that they are worried that their child will become clingy or dependent if they are allowed to breastfeed for an extended period of time. This worry, however, can be countered by the fact that children who are loved and secure actually tend to become more independent and less likely to be clingy. The key to this is providing a balance of dependence, exploration and independence that will allow a child to grow as a person and develop their own personality, while still getting the love and security they need to feel happy and safe.

Breast milk will provide health benefits for your child during the entire time you nurse. Longer nursing periods have been directly linked to the reduction of infant and toddler illnesses. By reducing the chances of illness, extended nursing can avoid many of the childhood diseases that can make a child’s life miserable during this critical development period. 

Mothers also benefit from extended nursing as the hormones prolactin and oxytocin, the “mother hormones,” both continue to be created in a mother who is nursing. These not only relax a mother, but they also create that nurturing attraction that is so important to feeling like you want to provide the love and security a child needs. Additionally, nursing a child has been found to provide protection from some diseases such as ovarian, uterine, endometrial cancers and osteoporosis.

The reasons to nurse for an extended period of time are fairly proven in the sense that both the mother and the child benefit. If you decide to extend the breastfeeding time with your child, your decisions should not be based on social perceptions. What you decide really should be what you are comfortable with and what makes sense for the child.