By Jacqueline Harris

Weaning your child is both a personal decision and one that is based on your child’s development. For some kids, weaning as soon as four or six months is appropriate. For others, an extended approach should be utilized. Much of this is dependent on your own approach to child-rearing and your child’s development in regards to ingesting solid foods. 

When a child has that first bite of solid food, the weaning process has technically begun. Whether you realize it or not, you may have already begun weaning your child by giving them cereal, processed fruits or other “solid” foods. Weaning, done gradually without realizing it, is usually the best strategy for the child and the mother.

Your baby will gradually become more interested in solid foods and their interest in breastfeeding will gradually decrease. This usually happens somewhere around four to twelve months. Up until the point of your baby eating all solids, it is best to offer the breast to the baby before presenting a solid food. This is because your baby still needs a lot of nourishment to grow and they might not get what they need if they are only offered solid foods.

The key to this decision is what you feel comfortable with, when your baby is ready and when it makes sense in terms of nutrition. You do not want to wait too long, but at the same time, you do not want to cut them off too quickly and end up depriving them of the nourishment that will help their bodies and brains grow properly. In this case, waiting a while is probably the best strategy in terms of ensuring that they get all the nourishment they need during this critical developmental cycle.

This, of course, has to be dictated by common sense. If your child is already eating the majority of his meals from a solid food source, then it makes sense to wean him faster. If, however, your child still needs or enjoys breastfeeding, then prolonging it makes more sense than not. Letting your child determine their weaning period is also a smart move as it means they will not suffer any setbacks mentally or emotionally as a result of the process. 

As a mother, you also have some considerations and input into the weaning process. The process of weaning needs to be determined by the amount of pain, or lack thereof, you feel. Weaning too fast can result in severe pain from engorged breasts. By doing this process naturally and slowly, you will be able to wean your child with the only side effect being slight extra fullness, but no severe pain or discomfort. 

If you do wean too fast, you also are depriving your child of the chance to gain valuable nourishment. This is because even a child that is in their toddler years gains nourishment from breastfeeding. Ultimately, the process is up to you, your child’s development and the speed it takes for you to stop breastfeeding without any pain or severe discomfort.

By Jacqueline Harris

As a child grows from infant to toddler, then from toddler to pre-school age, most mothers experience periods of remorse, depression and guilt. Their guilt might be from feeling like they pushed the child too fast or did not provide the child with enough nurturing time. These feelings are natural and, with some very simple techniques, the guilty feeling from your child moving onto another stage of their lives, whether it is from weaning or entering their first school, can be abated very easily.

Of all the different stages, however, weaning guilt is often the most prevalent. This is particularly true when a child is weaned because Mom is re-entering the workforce. All mothers, however, are haunted by nagging questions of whether they weaned too early and whether they made the right decision for the child.

The easiest way to avoid weaning guilt is to give the child the time they need to begin choosing solid foods without first opting for breast milk. This will not only ensure they develop at their own pace, but will give them the extra nourishment breast milk provides. By allowing the child to dictate their own terms in regards to weaning, the mother is absolved of almost all guilt as it is the child making the decision.

In many situations, however, that simply is not possible and in those instances, different approaches for dealing with weaning guilt are in order. Usually, these situations are dictated by outside reality, such as a mother has to return to work to support the family and in these cases, some very basic techniques can help ease any guilt or depression that a mother might feel.

The first step is to analytically examine the decision, separating reality from emotion. Is the child still getting the nourishment they need? Are they still being given the time to bond with Mom on a daily basis and have the opportunity to hug, cling and be held? If the answer is “yes,” and chances are it is, the process of guilt becomes easily recognizable as unnecessary and thus easier to ignore.

Another approach is to talk with other mothers. All moms have periods in their child’s development where they feel they let the child down. Commiserating with other moms will show you are not alone and far from an abnormal or poor mother. Additionally, you will probably be able to pick up new approaches to deal with guilt or depression associated with your decision.

Finally, realize that as long as your child is being cared for adequately, they are not suffering from lack of breastfeeding. Children are remarkably adaptable beings and quickly assimilate into almost any situation they are thrust. Even if your child was weaned early, they will grow up healthy and well developed, provided they have good role models and instructors in their parents.

If, however, your guilt is over-riding all other feelings or rational thought, or if it is leading to depression, seeking a doctor’s help is not a bad idea. This is particularly true if you have had a period or periods of post-partum depression. At that point, the guilt you feel could be an indicator of something mentally much more serious, although almost always treatable.